Desperado – Season 1, Episode 5: Three Death Gods On A Boat

Having defeated the inquisitor that chased them all the way to the shores of Mexico, our three heroes now embark on a ship sailing to Europe.

You can find more information, including our full cast list and transcripts, at DesperadoRadio.com.

Credits:

Written and produced by Samy Souissi.

  • Elio – Samy Souissi
  • Shinji – Tibet Boyer
  • Talia – Tami Ige
  • Samar – Kawtar Morchadi

Soundtrack:

Transcript

Please be advised the content of this podcast contains violence, murder, blood, smoking, alcohol, mentions of suicide and driving sound effects. Please avoid listening to this in a car. We also swear… a whole lot. So… there’s that. 

TALIA

Once we were sure the threat was neutralized, the Path urged us to board the ship, and I didn’t have time to ask Shinji any follow-up questions. 

We left the Americas without looking back, its shores soaked in blood. That boat was built like a tank and it moved at the same pace. It became clear that without us those people would have had no chance to escape on time. The sailors helped me find a room with a free bed to lay Elio on. We undressed him, dried him and inspected his body. There were no wounds, no fractures, nothing but he clearly had lost a lot of blood and… we had nothing to do a transfusion with so… we had no idea if you’d make it. The sailors went back to their posts while you were unconscious and I was about to check your temperature when you suddenly opened your eyes.

ELIO

What are you doing?

I saw you jump back, but it was only for a split second, really.

TALIA

I remember I kneeled by your side and tried to take your pulse like “what’s going on? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” And you just grabbed my wrist and went:

ELIO

What part of “don’t move”… got you confused, exactly?

(Talia lets out a confused/relieved laugh.)

TALIA

I’m… I’m sorry, I wasn’t myself back there but… Thank you. You saved me.

ELIO

…You saved me. You and your little…knife-thing. You got the priest?

TALIA

He did.

I pointed at Shinji a couple steps behind me and you seemed really surprised to find someone else in the room. I saw you wince and painfully try to sit upright, back against the wall. And I was a bit freaked out, not gonna lie. I could see you breathing but your skin was… almost translucent.

ELIO

How’d you do it?

SHINJI

Small gun to a… big forehead.

ELIO

You shot a priest?

TALIA

Point blank.

ELIO

How’d you get so close?

SHINJI

You ask a lot of questions.

TALIA

Your clothes are completely wet. Do you have something to change into?

ELIO

Check the backpack.

SFX: Rummaging through backpack. 

TALIA

There’s…a t-shirt and… You have no trousers.

ELIO

Well… should have stopped by the mall I guess.

SHINJI

I have a spare… if you need.

ELIO

That’d be nice.

SFX: Fabric lands with a soft thud as he catches them from across the room.

Oh wow, no bloodstains! They’re not even ripped! That’s fancy. Where do these come from?

SHINJI

Japan.

ELIO

You work with the Path?

SHINJI

No. No, uh… refugee.

ELIO

Wait, from Japan?

TALIA

I know right?

ELIO

Did you cross the States? And… with no bloodstains?

I remember you smiled like a kid and just… revealed your wings, hands in your pockets like it was no big deal. 

SHINJI

And you guys were a… a terrible audience. I mean, you barely raised an eyebrow.

ELIO

Oh that makes a lot more sense.

TALIA

It does?

ELIO

Death spirits right? The Yokai.

SHINJI

…How did you know?

ELIO

Oh, I’ve been here before.

TALIA

Here?

ELIO

I’ve kept some memories from past lives. Now you as well I’ve seen before, but I just can’t…Oh. Hello Baron, I should’ve known you’d crawl your way back as well.

TALIA

My name is Talia.

ELIO

Well, good luck staying Talia.

SHINJI

Okay, who are you?

ELIO

Can you not sense it? If we’ve never met before, the things you carry within certainly have.

TALIA

They can’t speak to us.

SHINJI

Not so far from home.

ELIO

But they’re still here. And if you can’t access that potential it means you haven’t dared to. You haven’t tried. Why?

SHINJI

Why? You with bullet scars and cadaver skin? But you can’t fathom the risks?

TALIA

Okay! Should we get you something to eat? You still look really pale.

ELIO

If you can spare anything, I’m out of rations.

TALIA

We can share.

SHINJI

Oh, no. Please, don’t worry about it.

ELIO

And he opened one of his bags and it was full of sweets and protein bars and fresh fruits and I was genuinely about to cry when you put an apple in my hands, because all I’ve had for the past two weeks at that time were like… beef jerky and canned beans.

TALIA

Where did you get all this from?

SHINJI

Well as it turns out, you can do pretty much whatever you want if you have wings in the US.

The emperor has a private guard of winged soldiers, call themselves “The Angels”. Nobody bothers them… nobody bothered me. All I had to do is keep my hood down and folks would give me anything I asked for. My favorite thing was telling people I’d grant them a wish if they gave me their takeaway.

ELIO

Can we switch? Do you want blood powers? Do you ever feel like you don’t black out enough?

TALIA

What happened to you?

ELIO

…I’ll tell you if you take me to the bridge. I just need some air.

You know that first time the breeze hits you in the open sea? Do you remember how it felt?

TALIA

Cold.

ELIO

Free. 

And it was so strangely quiet, It was just us, the waves, and whispers of conversation on the bridge.

SHINJI

People were staring.

TALIA

But they still wouldn’t approach.

SHINJI

Can’t blame them. Spirits are trouble.

ELIO

Yeah. Still, I felt safe that night. I think it took you guys a little longer but something within me knew already, that I was among friends.

SHINJI

I… definitely did not trust you guys.

TALIA

Same, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

ELIO

Okay, well it was still nice. 

We sat on the bridge and started talking, Shinji passed some of his food to the other passengers and I learned about Talia, the Baron, and her… bone control thing, Shinji and-

TALIA

I can literally raise skeletons to serve me and you call it “ bone control”?

ELIO

You control bones, yes or no?

TALIA

It’s necromancy. Why don’t you explain how your masochistic powers work for a change.

ELIO

I didn’t really know at the time actually. It was all instinct. If I got in danger the shield would appear and if I didn’t have sacrificed blood to use, like on that first night, it would drain my own. And I think… blacking out was a sort of fail safe. I would always fall unconscious before the shield got me over the tipping point.

So yeah… my powers literally had to knock me the fuck out because I had no idea what I was doing. But uh… yeah. What else did we talk about?

TALIA

I asked you what your plans were when you got to Europe and you said:

ELIO

I don’t know. I have no idea what awaits me there. I’ve never even seen a witch before.

TALIA

The English ones can be… difficult.

ELIO

I’ll take difficult over genocidal.

SHINJI

I’m just looking for a bed and shelter, really. One I… won’t have to leave.

TALIA

That would be nice, wouldn’t it.

ELIO

And you? Anything in mind?

TALIA

Pfff… Yeah, I have- uh, well… I was given a year by the Baron to kill the Old Man in the sky so-


ELIO

(talking over)

Oh wow.

TALIA

Yeah- Otherwise he’d take full possession of me so that’s- That’s on the schedule.

ELIO

Do you have… a plan?

TALIA

Well I know step three is murder. I just have to figure out the other two are… I don’t know. I… thinking I’m supposed to get help from witches but…eh.

SHINJI

Seems like a good start. Enemy of… my enemy?

TALIA

Except they hate all of us. Any act of divine is a punishable offense so… Don’t steal people’s takeaways there.

SHINJI

Noted.

TALIA

But! My grandmother does have a contact at the destination. A man called Marcus who she said would find me a place to live and hopefully some guidance.

ELIO

You think he’d have room for one more because, I have something to settle with crusaders myself. And judging from tonight, you could use a shield.

TALIA

I wouldn’t say no to a pair of wings either.

SHINJI

I… can’t speak for killing a god, but… if you can find me a place to sleep I’ll follow.

TALIA

Boys, I get the feeling we’re going to do great things together.

ELIO

There’s… no way you said that. Y’know- Ok- Y’know what? Nevermind. Uh. The rest of the night was quite nice. We were safe, fed, and on our way to a better place. Oh! I forgot to ask you guys. What was your first impression?

TALIA

Of you?

ELIO

Everyone.

TALIA

Uh, Shinji, I don’t really… If I’m going to 100% honest, I wasn’t… feeling… it…

SHINJI

Oh same! You were- You were a lot. You know, you’re tall, athletic- you don’t walk, you– would advance- and your hair feels like a crown on your head. It’s all a bit intimidating.

TALIA

Good.

SHINJI

And you were- reckless, you had no notion of personal space – and… I appreciate it now but you’re a very… physical person, always with a hand on someone’s shoulder or something and I was really uncomfortable with it.

TALIA

…Okay, well I was just gonna call you shy but- wow.

SHINJI

I mean, you literally have super- strength. The only reason I can fly is because my bones are lighter so-

TALIA

I didn’t know that at the time.

SHINJI

Yeah, well… I was worried you’d crush my ribs.

ELIO

Is that why you hate hugs?

SHINJI

I. hate. hugs. I hate people touching me. It gives me so much anxiety.

ELIO

What did you think of me though?

SHINJI

I – Okay can I admit something?

ELIO

Goddess, please do.

SHINJI

I thought you were… really good looking, man, and uh… I’ll leave it at that.

ELIO

No-no-no, what was it, I wanna know the details, I wanna know. What’s my selling points?

TALIA

You have really nice curls man. I like your hair.

ELIO

I was gonna say the same to you. The new braids look amazing.

TALIA

Awww! Thank you!

SHINJI

Yeah, I don’t know, from the outside, Elio, you’re kind of scary, you have those scars on your arms, the tattoos, and that scruff you pretend not to take care of.

ELIO

Okay.

TALIA

Yeah I think you know exactly what you look like and you’re very careful what you present.

SHINJI

You’re like everything we’d expect a mercenary to be. But you’re so measured it’s… calming.

ELIO

Yeah. I just… don’t see the point in… agitation. But you Shinji- I- I thought you were kind of creepy at first actually.

SHINJI

Yeah I was skinny, pale, with a buzzcut and carried a gun. Nobody’s surprised.

ELIO

No, there was something that definitely held my attention and it’s… I think it’s the way you carry yourself. Y’know? You’re — unbound- it’s very hard to explain, it’s like… your steps take you a bit further than they should and… for a split second you’re flying and it’s- magnetizing.

SHINJI

Oh, thanks.

TALIA

I would advice you watch out for that. You don’t wanna get caught.

SHINJI

I- am not going to watch my every step, okay? That’s a jail of its own.

TALIA

Fair enough.

ELIO

So we spent about 7 days on that ship… Which should have been a much longer trip now that I think about it.

TALIA

No, the path had a wave-walker.

ELIO

Ohhhh-

TALIA

Wait, you didn’t know?

ELIO

No – I stayed in my cabin the whole time- I still had to recover.

SHINJI

I’m sorry. What’s a wave-walker?

TALIA

Honestly I’m still not sure- The Ocean is…different. Its spirits are so ancient, they’re almost a different species from the ones of today. And so a wave-walker is a lot like us, but they’re the bridge between humans, and whatever is going on under the waves. Fergus- that’s the guy from the Path. He was Scottish – so funny. And he explained to me that wave-walkers can command currents and winds, He mentioned shape-shifting, and incredible prowess in bed-

SHINJI

I’m sorry, what?

TALIA

Yeah, he was pulling my leg half the time so I don’t… actually know what’s true and what isn’t.

ELIO

Wait did you-?

TALIA

No! No, no. The man had gills. He smelled like a lobster!

ELIO

Haha. Hey, we don’t judge.

SHINJI

Since when?

ELIO

Hey also, we could have used a “sea wizard” the night we embarked.

TALIA

They refuse to get too close to the shore. They don’t trust landlovers.

SHINJI

Can’t blame him.

TALIA

He’s also the reason I could replace my dagger.

SHINJI

Really?

TALIA

Yeah. Losing it had me down for a while. It was the one thing my grandmother gave me and… holding it felt… safe. Every new trick I learned was like a secret she whispered to me. And if an inquisitor could take me down like that, what chances did I have against The Emperor? So… It was… long nights, for me.

ELIO

I would never have guessed.

SHINJI

Me neither.

ELIO

You were like a ray of sunshine on the ship! Like, always half- walking, half-dancing. You had jokes, you had banter — you were on a cruise, honestly.

TALIA

Samedi’s flair.

SHINJI

And you were a machine. You helped out with the crew, the food, the kids- I… I didn’t do any of that.

TALIA

That’s how we do back home. When the going gets tough, we get going. 

Until one night, half-way through the trip- I got out of bed, went on the bridge, hoping I could talk to Fergus, and, sure enough… I leaned over the railings and he emerged from the water, floating on his back. He asked me what was going on and I told him about the dagger. 

He said, “Why didn’t you ask me?” and I went “Ask about what?” 

He just stared at me for a second and- 

You know that kind of look you’d give to cute, but very simple creatures?

ELIO

Just say a dog.

SHINJI

Dogs can be smart.

ELIO

A baby then.

SHINJI

Babies aren’t cute.

ELIO

Actually yeah.

TALIA

Are you done?

SHINJI

Sorry.

ELIO

Yeah- He looked at you and-?

TALIA

He said: “The dead are many, beneath the tides.” 

And he disappeared, way down below. When he came back, he had in his hand the biggest femur I’ve ever seen. A proper spear. He threw it at me with a wink and – He had tied some algae around it… kind of like a gift-wrap it was- 

SHINJI

Cute.

TALIA

Dumb. 

I didn’t even have to catch it. It stopped it in the air and it came floating to my hands. Fergus whistled in delight, pretending to be impressed. 

He said “I’ll just… give you two some privacy”, and just went about his night, doing god-knows-what in the pitch black sea.

ELIO

Oh and I remember the next day! I came out to the bridge in the morning and you were already there, knife in hand carving a fucking human bone and I just asked you – “Uh…Where did you find that?

TALIA

Oh… I packed a replacement.

ELIO

Wow, really?

TALIA

Mhm.

ELIO

How does it fit in your bag, I mean-

TALIA

Hey, do you mind if I just… carry on, with my thing?

ELIO

Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.

TALIA

Did you?

ELIO

Sorry, sorry — So, why didn’t you tell me that day?

TALIA

I just… I didn’t want to make a thing out of it, I would have had to explain Fergus, the bones, my mood… And it was just… for the first time in weeks my mind was there, in that moment. Not back home, worrying about my grandmother being alone, or already in Europe, wondering how I’m supposed to get help there. No, it was just me and my sore hands after hours of carving. I felt present. And you just barged in trying to set up a whole interview. Of course I wasn’t going to say anything.

ELIO

Fair enough. Anything else we should know?


TALIA

Nope. That’s it.

ELIO

Do you remember when we finally reached Europe?


SHINJI

Yeah, it happened way too quickly. Less than a week and boom, shore on the horizon. I was the first to see it but I didn’t tell anyone the whole day. I didn’t want to be a fugitive again.

TALIA

Also, pebble beaches are the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.

ELIO

It’s so bad.

But that night, when they dropped the anchor far away from the beach and everyone was at the railings, eager to see what would be our welcome but… No one was waiting for us. And for a moment, there was this strange lull among the sailors and the Path and… something was wrong.

SHINJI

I don’t like this.

TALIA

Me neither.

I looked around the bridge and saw an agent of the Path repeatedly sending code through walky-talky. Nobody was answering him.

I could see the sailors getting agitated, fidgeting, glancing at each other too often, looking for reassurance… for someone to take charge.

SHINJI

We should go.

ELIO

It’s a bit sudden.

TALIA

What do you mean?

SHINJI

Out of the boat. Go.

TALIA

I can’t, I have to wait for my contact.

ELIO

I don’t think anyone’s coming.

TALIA

The Path brought us all the way here, they wouldn’t abandon us now.

ELIO

Yeah, but is it like them to be 5 minutes late? Do you think their scouts are on coffee break?

TALIA

…Fuck.

ELIO

Yeah. He might be right. 

I turned to Shinji and asked: Can you take us to the beach? I don’t think we can borrow a lifeboat.

SHINJI

No. Too heavy.

ELIO

Okay, okay. That’s fine. Talia, can you swim?

TALIA

I’m from an island.

ELIO

Right… how fast can you teach me?

SHINJI

Oh.

TALIA

…You’re joking.

ELIO

Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to build a pool centre near my farm.

TALIA

That’s a lot of sass for someone who’s about to drown.

SHINJI

Get a life jacket. I can drag him to the beach if he floats.

TALIA

That could work.

ELIO

There’s one under my bed but we need to go now.

TALIA

I have some rope in my backpack.

SHINJI

I deployed my wings and dived in our quarters to get our bags. We strapped you up and thankfully nobody asked us anything or really cared about what we were doing. They were still desperately trying to reach their UK contact. 

ELIO

Nothing else they could do without transport or fuel. We got to the railing and I looked down at the… slithering void I was about to jump into and-

TALIA 

Ready?

ELIO

… I-Uh

TALIA

Yeah you’re ready.

ELIO

And she fucking pushed me.

TALIA

The way you screamed is still up there in my top 10 memories.

ELIO

Well it’s a pretty sad life if this is a highlight.

TALIA

Are you still mad?

ELIO

It was freezing! The last thing I needed was a cold.

TALIA

That’s not how you catch a cold.

SHINJI

And you were so panicked! You started yelling in Spanish and just whacking the water all around. You almost pulled the rope out of my hands.

TALIA

See? Fear is the real enemy here.

ELIO

No, I’m gonna be if you keep talking.

TALIA

I even jumped right by your side and grabbed you to tell you everything was okay. 

“Just lay back like a plank and let Shinji pull you.” …It took a minute.

SHINJI

I jumped over the balcony and flew toward the shore. Before landing on the sand-

TALIA

Pebbles.

ELIO

Yeah, fucking pebbles.

SHINJI

My bad.

SHINJI

I looked back at the bridge and saw that barely anyone watched us leave. They seemed relieved more than anything else.

ELIO

I didn’t notice. I was busy dragging myself out of the water and… vomiting said water.

TALIA

I was feeling a lot better, personally. Keeping it moving felt like the right thing to do, after all. I didn’t like my fate being in the hands of someone else. And it was a beautiful night, the sky was clear. It felt like swimming amongst the stars.

ELIO

(bitter)

Oh… amongst the stars?

SHINJI

Yeah,I can’t relate. I was lost, in a new country, I had the vague feeling that something bad was going to happen and I now had two crawlers slowing me down.

TALIA

Crawlers?

ELIO

Wow.

SHINJI

I was this close to ditching you guys. I could have been miles away already. But before I could make that decision… this… woman appeared behind us. Literally, out of nowhere. I didn’t hear a thing, didn’t sense anything, she was just…there.

SAMAR

Hello!

SHINJI

I turned around, gun in hand and aimed for her forehead. She didn’t flinch, not one bit. Like this was perfectly normal. She was slightly shorter than me, silky dark hair in a french

braid and brown eyes like I’ve never seen before, like… I don’t know how to describe them. It was- 

ELIO

Like sand under the sun. I mean, there was already something intriguing about her but when she smiled…it just made sense. Like the curve of her lips had been carefully designed to unveil her cheekbones, spark something in her eyes, like- it was subtle alchemy. It was like… tilting your head in front of a painting and suddenly it’s revealed- the genius of an artist. Anyway-

SHINJI

And she was dressed casually, with an oversized jacket, but there was something about her that froze me in place. I-I think it just was the first time I felt the presence of the other mind. It was like a single vibration, rippling through my body, spelling the word “danger”. It was pure, atavistic fear, and it was… petrifying.

SAMAR 

Are you Talia?

TALIA

Uh- No. Sorry. But if you’re looking for someone we can help. Is Talia a friend?

SAMAR

I’m sure she will be. My name is Samar and I’m parked in the middle of the road so we have to go now if you want to join Marcus for dinner.

TALIA

Marcus?

SHINJI

She looked at me right in the eyes.

SAMAR

Is this your friend?

SHINJI

…and I lowered my gun, feeling stupid.

TALIA

Yes! Uh-

SAMAR

Wonderful. Shall we?

TALIA

What about the others? The boat?

SAMAR

Compromised. It’s the reason the Path isn’t there to collect you and the reason we have to go now.

ELIO

Wait what’s gonna happen to them?

SAMAR

They’ll be apprehended, and- most of them will be sent back to the Americas.


TALIA

What?!

ELIO

We left the beach and reached an asphalt road where, as promised, a car was waiting for us. If we didn’t pay attention we could have walked right past it without noticing. There were no streetlights and the moon was barely a crescent in the sky.

Wait- It’s a death sentence.

SAMAR

It is. And that’s why you should get in the car.

SHINJI

We can’t abandon them!

ELIO

And then we heard a noise high above. The ominous whistle of something diving through the air. Three dark silhouettes slashed through the midnight sky. They immediately started circling the boat and we heard their distant voices echo through the silence. They spoke only two sentences, each word at the exact same time, bound by the same will. A spell. And three gigantic ice claws rose from the sea to pin the boat in place. 

SFX: The metallic scrape of ice against ice

It would not go any further. The ice had pierced through steel and plating but nobody had been harmed. And that meant caution and finesse. It meant mastery of a skill we had barely started flirting with.

And it all happened in less than 5 seconds, meaning they could have annihilated everyone on board even quicker if they wanted to.

SAMAR

FYI, those are just the first responders.

TALIA

And she got in the driver’s seat, everything was said. 

SHINJI

She’s a killer.

TALIA

…So are you.

SHINJI

No, I can kill.

ELIO

Where is that coming from?

SHINJI

The way she walks.

ELIO

You never explained what you meant by that.

SHINJI

She moved exactly like the giant of Toshima. Every inch of her body under control. No movement without intent.

TALIA

Well, you can sit with Elio and if anything goes wrong you’ll have his shield.

SHINJI

I looked back at Samar and realized she was staring at us, a hand on the wheel.

ELIO

Shinji glanced at me and I gave him a nod. Whatever this woman was capable of, I knew I could take it. Talia looked back at you and shared the nod. 

TALIA

Thank you. Come on!

And we got in the car, me in the passenger seat and the boys behind.

SAMAR

Thank god we’re not in a hurry.

TALIA

Sorry- we were-

SAMAR

Buckle up.

She turned the key in and started driving, lights off till we reached a highway.

TALIA

So… Where are we going?

ELIO

And I’ll never forget the way she just casually said 

“Oh, the circus has set up right outside of Bristol, about half an hour drive from here.” 

And there was a huge silence and I assume we all made a face because then she turned to Talia and asked

SFX: Car tires speeding along the road

SAMAR 

You know, right?

TALIA

About a circus?

SAMAR

Marcus is a ringmaster! And he’s very excited to meet you. He hasn’t had a new act in years.

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